Keep it covered

“Keep it covered, James.” Those were my father’s (rather embarrassing) parting words at the airport, before I headed off to Portugal with friends to celebrate the end of our GCSE examinations. As far as Personal Protective Equipment goes, a ‘love glove’ is all I’ve ever needed, but until now, that’s all changed. In preparation for…

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Scooter Suiter

April has left me tanned like George Hamilton with the liver of George Best. Yesterday, was my first day back in the showroom since lock down, to check for mail, leaks, rodents and pick up a spare computer for home schooling. Unfortunately, Daddy’s darlings had fully committed to their maths “Rock Stars” homework, and decided to…

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Threads of isolation

As the cold winds of isolation blow over Corona County, for those newly working at home, these are dangerous times. My heart goes out to those poor displaced souls, tucked away in the eves with a laptop, unshaven, the crumbs of yesterday’s KitKat, smeared across their jogging bottoms. One day, you’re a city slicker, the…

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To be continued…

The Corona iceberg has been struck, and the good ship Victoria Quarter, is on her way down. It’s ‘Lock down’  – to members of the public, verboten. As I sit here at my desk, putting my business in mothballs, I am officially the last man standing. Violin poised, bow in hand, I must serenade a sad farewell…

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Bojo and the hobo

So this month saw the beginning of Brexit. As an eighteen year old boy, I remember my father dragging me into the polling station in Bingley for my first General Election. When I joked I was voting for Neil Kinnock, he entered my booth and to the gasps of poll workers, forcibly moved my pen…

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Loro Piana

This week kicked off with “Blue Monday,” supposedly the most depressing day of the year. As a Michelsberg customer, your wardrobe will bring such joy into your life as to make every day a delight, however, if you are shaking your way through a dry January, here is the perfect pick-me-up: “Loro Piana Friday.” Yes, the…

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Feliz Navidad

It’s 6pm on a Sunday evening and I type this missive, sniffling in front of a log fire, wearing a dressing gown and sheepskin slippers. Dear friends, it seems, to quote ‘Withnail,’ I have drifted into the arena of the unwell. With a temperature over 39 degrees, there’s been more perspiration and sighing than in…

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Glide & Slide

This month welcomed the Jet2Ski Snow report back into my inbox. As a young boy, I first strapped on skis at a dry ski slope in Queensbury. Howling winds, driving rain, and not a clue what I was doing, left me bundled into the passenger seat of the manager’s Triumph Spitfire, heading to the Bradford Royal Infirmary with…

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Hakuna Matata

What better way to spend a grey, wet Sunday with family, than a trip to the cinema to see The Lion King. Snuggled into our seats, we contentedly munched away on popcorn, as Mufasa proudly presented his cub Simba to the animals of the Pride Lands. How many fathers have stood on the touch line,…

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