Black Tuesday

Meghan, Harry and Oprah – like driving past a road accident, I tried not to look, but couldn’t help it. Like the squatting thighs of a constipated grey hound, I shuddered, squirmed, and trembled in agony, as yet again, I watched a member of our Royal family, wash their dirty laundry in public. Perhaps most…

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A Bad Mood (Snood)

Microsoft and Netflix – sort your screensavers out! Like Jim Bowen in “Bullseye,” it’s “Look what you could have won,” as vistas of snow capped mountains, sparkling waterfalls and tropical beaches, tease and torment me, at a time when a trip to the butchers is an adventure. Believe you me, there is no Californian sunshine…

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On Ilkla Moor Baht ‘at

Another lockdown Monday morning rears it’s head, and to quote Morgan Freeman in ‘Shawshank Redemption,’ “time draws out like a blade.” The first two weeks of January have been productive, culminating in the launch of my new website, but with my ‘to do’ list now done, I’m in danger of being headhunted by my wife…

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The show must go on!

As family Michelsberg enters the home straight towards Christmas, this week has been an emotional roller-coaster. On Saturday, tears flowed as Daddy’s Darlings, aged 9 and 11, were told their London cousins would not be joining them for Christmas. Inconsolable, four hours later their racking sobs turned to screams of joy and jumping jubilation, as Bill Bailey lifted the…

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Run, Forrest, run!

I’m not exactly what you’d call a key demographic for Sports Direct. I’ve never run, cycled, pumped iron, or played for a team in my life, bunking off rugby and cricket at school, preferring stud poker sessions and cigarettes with my friends. The only sport I’ve done with any regularity is swimming, so when the…

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Checking out & Dropping In

Wednesday 4th November, 6am. Squirming under the duvet, I sighed deeply into my pillow with worry. The ‘tup’ sheep needed bringing down from the fells, before I could shut down my shop for ‘Lockdown Two.’ In that curious, hallucinogenic phase of sleep, where dreams become reality, James Michelsberg – Leeds tailor extraordinaire – had transmogrified…

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Carry On Corona!

So there she stood on parade, my first born daughter, all ready for her first day at Big School. Shoes polished, a dimple in her tie knot, sleeve length perfect, a credit to her tailoring father. It would have been churlish to bemoan the polyester fabric, fused construction, with not even a Milanese button hole in…

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The Michelsberg Trenchcoat

Last week, whilst ‘Airbnbing’ with my in-laws in a rather splendid pile tucked away in the boonies of Lancashire, the owners mentioned they kept hens, and we were very welcome to collect our own eggs. Every morning, my excited daughters would throw on wellies, rush outside and proudly return with the day’s clutch. I’d then serve them…

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