Short tempered

The one crumb of comfort I’ll take from the end of Summer, is no more encounters like this one in Leeds.

As he swaggered past me, rapping “A’m rollin’ wi mi backie…” I didn’t know whether to laugh, or, cry.

Sunshine can bring with it a multitude of sins, and last week, on my way down to Newquay, my retinas were once again subjected to more horrors of the flesh.

When it comes to shorts, my viewpoint from a sartorial perspective is unwavering. They are ugly, unsophisticated and I will not make them.

Even Ralph Lauren, who I admire considerably, is unable to promote them with aplomb. Check out his advert below.

What on earth is going on here? Wayward boaters, hunting a lost canoe on the streets of Milan, assisted by hippy chicks and a handy spin-bowler?

A company who I do feel deserves a mention is Orlebar Brown and their “tailored swim shorts.” Often featuring outlandish designs, they’ve cunningly added a metal buckle and side fastener onto the waistband, which I do like.

All they need to do is incorporate a removable colostomy bag, for when you hand over two hundred and forty five pounds to pay for them.

No matter how toned of calf, or, bronzed of flesh a chap might be, I will always give shorts a resounding no. Their only place is the beach, the sports-field, or the school playground.

I can hear the cry’s of “poppycock” from those of you who wallow in a climate more favourable than my own.

Trust me. Shorts are God’s way of having a little joke with those of you who think heat is an excuse to lower the tone.

Last month, it hit eighty degrees in my showroom and I still wore a tie, vest and leather shoes. God save the Queen!

A pair of linen, cotton, seersucker, mohair, trousers, will always look great and keep you cool. Whilst I like the skinny bottom, flash of ankle vibe, I feel these (spotted on my travels) are a tad on the short side.

Anyway, now that you’ve let me have my rant, I’m feeling much better and so on to more positive things.

It’s been a great month here at Michelsberg HQ. Business has been brisk and I’ve fitted out an office / new kitchen above the showroom, in preparation for my new apprentice, Charlie, who starts early next month.

As a celebration, I am hosting a customer party on Thursday, September 11th from 6pm (in the Victoria Quarter), so you can help me raise a glass and welcome him into our tribe.

There will be live jazz, canapés from Salt’s deli and a disgraceful amount of alcohol.

Dress Code will be Michelsberg Tailoring. No Shorts.

Hope to see you soon and remember, now is the time to get in those orders for pre-Christmas dinner suits and overcoats :-)

À bientôt mes amis!